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Groom Management

It's one thing to manage people like caterers, florists and DJs. You're paying them - they have to listen to you. Not so for your groom. The most important person in your life can often be the most frustrating during your wedding planning. Luckily I have a few ideas on how to keep him from driving you crazy...

I'm going to make a few assumptions when I talk about your groom today.  I'm going to assume that you are not marrying the rare guy who simply adores talking about floral centerpieces and bridesmaid dresses. I'm also assuming that if you asked him his opinion of aisle runners, you'd get a pretty blank stare in return. Or a maybe football-related response?

You're not alone. Many brides get little or no help from their fiancé during the wedding planning. And the help you do manage to get is often not worth the trouble. (How many times is he going to remind you that he made one phone call to one DJ? Does he want a cookie or something?) Lots of men are still reeling from exhausting task of shopping for your ring, freaking out about asking you and then popping the question. Once the proposal is behind them, they are often all too happy to hand the planning baton over to you. And you're probably all too happy to run with it!

But while you're planning, keep a few things in mind:

Runaway Bride - Speaking of assumptions, don't make too many. Or rather - make the right ones. It's fair to assume that he might not care what shade of lipstick you are planning on wearing for your wedding, but you might want to check in with him about what groomsmen gifts you're buying. When I was planning my wedding, I got in the habit of giving my fiancé a 5 minute rundown of everything I was deciding on that week. 99% of it he didn't have an opinion on, but he appreciated having a say about that 1%.

Calendar Girl - Say you're the type to make travel reservations a month or more in advance. And let's say he's more of the "fly standby" type. Chances are that's not going to change just because you're planning a wedding. And that's okay. Really! Just because it's 3 months before the wedding and he hasn't picked out his tux yet doesn't mean he's never going to. It just means that you are in crazed planning mode and he isn't. Within reason, let him take care of the tasks you've both decided he'll take on.

Who are you, again? - Planning is a tiring, taxing, totally absorbing phase of your life. There will be days where you wonder why you are even bothering with all these details. You'll wonder why you have volunteered for what is the equivalent of another full time job! When you get like that, take a breath. Put down your to-do lists and your planners, and pick up the phone. Make a date with your fiancé. Promise each other that you will go out (or stay in) and under no circumstances will you talk about the wedding.  Do this at least once every two weeks and you'll be surprised how much more fun planning becomes. Sometimes all it takes is one night to remind yourself that you're about to start an incredible new life. With the man of your dreams.

Happy Planning!